TRYING FOR BABY AGAIN

I was in my shop and a friend stopped by with her 6 months old baby. She said her and her partner thinking of trying for another baby and I became a bit worried for them and started advising against trying so early. I told her to wait longer until baby was at least a year or two, using some scientific evidence of two year gap in order to recover her strength; I even mentioned to give as much time as possible to her first child; but the worst thing was I just got my friend back after she stopped breastfeeding and I am actually looking forward to nights out in town and few glasses of Prosecco.

But then after she left I felt really uncomfortable about my advice and thought about it a lot. So this is a bit strange to write about such personal thing but it’s on my mind and I will just go ahead and do it.

I have two happy and healthy children and It is so important for me to say how blessed and privilege I feel to be their mother. Our youngest is four and it is no secret to say that we have thought and spoke about having more but we kind of know that why try our luck when we so happy with two, and there are so many women that can’t have one.

I am so quite simply terrified of trying.  For me trying after my first has meant so many months of anxiety, loss and sadness and I think of all the things that might happen and all the things that could go wrong on the road to a healthy pregnancy.  But then I am calmed thinking that there are millions of women getting pregnant everyday and it may not take months and months of anxious waiting. 

Its becoming normal to have smaller gap between children simply because we have children later and later in our life’s, in my shop majority of first time pregnancies are over 34. “No wonder” it’s only take’s us Forever to get our career on track and in many cases to find the man with whom to have children.

So I suppose the answer is complex and I still feel bad for advising my friend against it. If you worried and thinking when is the good time, that is probably anytime and if “That Is What’s On Your Mind” as soon as you find strength to deal with what ever difficulties may or may not be ahead.

At last, I would like to mention how happy I am to know that NHS IVF treatment will be extended to women up to 42 years of age. What a smart thing to do…..

Enjoy Mamissima

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BYE BYE NAP, HELLO DOUBLE SHOT

If you are a parent of a toddler you should have by now cut the blessed two naps a day down to one and trust me, I know you are dreading the day that the one becomes none. The general rule of thumb is this should happen somewhere between the ages of two and three but each toddler is quite their own person (I know you already know that!) and some end up still needing the nap as they head closer to their third and fourth birthdays. Hell, I’m 41 and I still need mine!

I get asked a lot in the shop how one will know when the last nap should go and there are two quite opposite but obvious signs: either your toddler will start sleeping longer and longer during the day and therefore shifting his/her night time sleep hours into the day which means they’ll probably not be falling asleep till very late at night, OR they won’t want to nap at all during the day and the process of putting them down will become more and more difficult.

Bizarrely, most toddlers I meet, fall into the first category and seemingly love that middle of the day nap more and more just as they resist night time bedtime more and more. So I asked a friend and a customer, who just had her second child two months ago, to explain what she does with her toddler, and this is what she written:

‘As my newborn approached three weeks, my toddler’s long day nap really seemed like a miracle as I could finally catch up with the piling amounts of work around me, but of course I was paying for this as his bedtime was slipping later and later. So I did it: crazy me decided to cut out the nap (again, this is a personal choice but it worked for us).

The report so far is:

I am insane for doing this with a newborn.

I have taken up drinking double shot lattes to make it through the day.

Most importantly my toddler is much happier and he is going to bed almost two hours earlier.

Now, I’m not going to deny that there are about 20 minutes each afternoon that he tries to curl up into a ball while resisting “I don’t have to take a nap because I’m a big boy”, as his eyes flit into the back of his head. It is at this point that my double shot latte comes in handy as I need the energy to do jazz hands, turn up Lady GaGa for some unknown reason litters my iPod and we dance. So if your toddler needs to drop that nap, even if you have to take up therapy to get through it, you can do it. I know you can!’

Thank you Sam!!!

Written by Mamissima